Monday, September 09, 2002

Talked to Kent on the phone tonight... I wanted to make sure that me coming out in October wouldn't be an imposition on him and Alan. He was asking questions about the Celebrating The Body Erotic Program that I am taking and I had a really hard time explaining to him what it is about without coming across as self-depreciating or embarrassed. Joseph Kramer traces this sexual tension back to our Puritanical heritage. "The key to Puritans is there is a battle between good and evil. There's always the devil or evil in some form. With Reagan it was the evil empire, then the Soviet Union fell. Even television has taken this up: Almost every news show has to have two people at war. But I think sex has always been demonized."
WE have deeply rooted conflict over this sexual impulse. At all times we are bombarded by sexual images on the radio, internet and television... but at the same time we are told to wait until marriage to experience sex. That sex is something you do in the dark... you don't talk about it. Feel guilty about masturbating... feel guilty/ dirty about being lusty and desirous. Children and teenagers are not sexual beings. People who enjoy sex are sluts and whores! These thoughts patterns are the main reason that I am GOING to this seminar. To perhaps step in a direction AWAY from this thinking. But I see this also as a step further away from the mainstream casting me even further into the role as an outsider. To be an outsider isn’t necessarily something to be viewed as negative. Outsiders and rebellious thinkers have always been around to critique society and to shape it into something different. In my case... I am looking to heal myself... then take that to others. Somehow I will incorporate my learning from UCMT, Kinergetics, and The Body Electric School together into a formative healing modality. I AM Chiron, the wounded healer.


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