Thursday, June 02, 2005

Ok, how selfish and self-absorbed can i be? I'm reading my sister's posts about Spain and actually getting ANGRY and depressed over it instead of ecstatically happy for her because she is having a great time in another country. My inner-whiner is just out of control tonight. Josh just asked me to turn down the music on the computer and I wanted to bark something at him... just because Im annoyed and frustrated. I need to take a "chill pill" (did I just say chill pill?) and go home. The idea of my sister running around in a foreign country brings up some very sensitive subjects for me. The main one being that I feel very ineffective right now. I would love nothing MORE than to be gallavanting around a foreign country and meeting new people and trying new things. Im stuck in a job and a routine that has me just running in place on a treadmill that is going slightly faster than I can match so Im slowly losing ground. (can you lose ground on a treadmill? 'cause somehow, Im doing it.) The gulf between me and financial solvency is getting and wider and wider as the days go on. The days FLY by as I do the same routines over and over again. SIGH.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

hey diablo, don't feel so bad. that trip was paid for with student loans, and dave footed apparently alot of the bill. so really you're not ineffective at all, without dave paying for shit the moth before, and paying for shit in spain i wouldn't have been able to go.